That Feeling When by S M James

Author:S M James [James, S M]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: May Books
Published: 2018-09-15T16:00:00+00:00

Archie

That night, Owen basically hounds me with questions. “So, you’re actual real-life friends with Landon Summers?”

I give him a non-committal hum and focus back on my phone, which isn’t such a great idea. I flick through the photos of the Archie I used to know, and the weirdest thought occurs to me. I’m looking out from under my hair in just about every picture, and no matter who I’m in the photo with, I’m wearing the exact same smile. And I mean exactly the same. Close mouthed, lips squeezed in tight. It’s like I’m trying too hard to look natural, when actually, I feel fake as fuck inside.

Standing with Landon today, it’s like I could see myself in him. I can’t even get over how stupid that sounds in my head, so I’m literally never going to say it aloud. Still, the more time I spend with Landon, the more like me I feel.

“What’s he like in person?” I glance over at Owen. His eyes are wide behind his glasses. There’s this childlike eagerness to him that would basically make me forgive him for anything. I take a controlled breath through my nose, because these questions are all kinds of irritating, and I answer as truthfully as possible.

“He’s cool. Basically what you saw today is how he is all the time. I don’t know. He’s not like the stereotypical movie star, or anything, he seems pretty normal.” And then I shut up there before I can say too much.

“I knew it. He seems like such a genuine guy.” Owen’s head is nodding like it might fly off his neck. “And how cool is it that he’s Australian? I wish I had his accent, then maybe girls would actually like me.”

I latch hold of this small revelation, anything to change the subject. “What do you mean? Every time I see you there seems to be girls around. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it.”

Owen stuffs his pillow under his arm as he rolls onto his side. “Yeah … they’re just not interested though. No matter what I do, they only see me as a friend. I want to find someone.”

“Aww, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. We’re way too young and stupid to figure out who we want to be with forever.”

Owen’s mouth hangs open a little as he squints at me through his glasses. “What’s forever about a date or two? I’d even settle for a kiss.”

Okay, now that is interesting. I let out this bark of laughter as I sit up and swing my legs around to face him. “Wait … you’ve never kissed someone? Anyone?” I know I shouldn’t throw stones, because I’ve literally just kissed a guy, but when you’re at a party there are enough stupid mistakes that lead to making out. Here I am debating my sexuality, yet I’ve clearly kissed way more girls than Owen. I’m trying to hold back my laughter because it isn’t really funny … but it also kind of is.

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